Is Gratitude a Choice or a Feeling? What to Focus on This Thanksgiving

I’ve already experienced the frantic energy and stress of the holiday season creeping up on me. It’s everything I want to avoid this Thanksgiving.

Each year I think I’ll edge my way around the anxious frenzy of shopping, planning, and cooking. But somehow I find myself caught up in wonderful, but energy-draining, pursuits that leave me tired and focused on my least important priorities. 

With two weeks left before Thanksgiving, there’s still time for us to reorient ourselves toward the true purpose behind the holiday—gratitude. With gratitude on the mind, I’ve wondered whether thankfulness is primarily a feeling or a choice. Which experience of gratitude should we pursue?

Feeling Thankful

When my schedule fills up and my stress meter tops out, it’s ironic that the most important things in my life—time with God and spiritual practices—are usually the first to get booted out of my twenty-four-hour lineup. 

I’ve consoled myself with the fact that I can still feel thankful throughout my day even when I don’t have time for intentional reflection on my life’s blessings and reasons for thankfulness. 

• I look up at the bright blue sky and feel thankful for the contrasting colors of autumn. 
• Walking down the road, I feel thankful for the smoky smell of the season curling its way through the rain-cleared air. 
• I sit down with my daughter to play a board game, and I feel gratitude for my children and family.

In this way, gratitude is certainly a feeling.

The Gratitude Cycle

This past week was maxed out with a big home project, a car problem, and planning and hosting a birthday party. In the midst of the hectic week, I noticed something inside myself. Without intentional thought put into the pursuit of cultivating a thankful heart, the feelings of gratitude began to fade.

Frustration, apathy, or discontentment seem to take notice of the empty thought space that gratitude used to occupy, and they subtly slide in to claim a spot. 

Feelings of gratitude don’t linger indefinitely if we’re not also choosing to occupy our thoughts with gratitude.

Belief precedes felt experience.

Felt experience feeds belief.

When we practice gratitude, we set off a cycle of thoughts and feelings. If we tend to that cycle regularly by naming the objects of our gratitude, our thoughts and feelings snowball into contentment.

When we practice gratitude, we set off a cycle of thoughts and feelings. If we tend to that cycle regularly by naming the objects of our gratitude, our thoughts and feelings snowball into contentment. #thankful #gratitude #thanksgiving Share on X

Practicing Gratitude

So how do we practice gratitude? Here are a few ideas:

• Tell a friend or family member how thankful you are for him or her, and name some specific reasons why you are thankful for their presence in your life.
• Make a list. Set a timer for two minutes, and write down everything in your life, big or small, for which you are thankful. Cooler temperatures. Your bed. A cup of coffee this morning. Jesus. Family. A second chance. Hope. 
• Initiate a simple rhythm of gratitude. Before your feet hit the floor, thank God for a new day. Before each meal, thank God for his provision. At night as you close your eyes, remember with thankfulness God’s faithfulness.

As we practice gratitude, our minds begin subconsciously searching for reasons to be thankful.

Scripture Says

(As I typed that headline, I couldn’t help but think of Family Feud’s famous line, “Survey says…!”)

Back to my original question—should we focus on choosing gratitude or feeling gratitude?

I think Scripture clearly affirms the former. Scripture tells us to be thankful and to express gratitude. We can’t follow a command to feel a certain way, but we can follow a command to think a certain way. 

Giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Ephesians 5:20, ESV

And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Colossians 3:17, ESV

The Bible gives us many more verses like these that tell us to give thanks to God.

When presented with a command, we choose to agree or to resist. Whether we experience a feeling of thankfulness or not, we can still choose to consent with our minds and give thanks to God. When we obey, we often find we are rewarded with feelings of thankfulness as well. 

Setting Our Minds on God

You may struggle to give thanks. Maybe when you try to focus on gratitude all you perceive is loss, hurt, and longing. If that’s where you are today, I gently urge you to remember Psalm 136:1 which tells us to “Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever.”

When all else fails, and when the world seems bleak, we continue to give thanks because “he is good.” Our gratitude is built on the foundation of the character of God—his goodness—which never changes. When we draw up gratitude based on him, we find the well bottomless.

Set your mind on gratitude this week. Switch your focus away from what you feel lacking and set it on the great riches you have in Jesus. My prayer for you, reader, is that your feelings of thankfulness will bubble up to match your thoughts.

How can you choose gratitude today? What has been your experience with choosing gratitude versus feeling gratitude? Let’s chat in the comments!