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Picture of woman praying and perhaps discerning the voice of God
Decision-Making,  Faith

Discerning the Voice of God: Is the Holy Spirit Speaking?

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Last month, I listened to one of the pastors at church give a sermon on biblical community. My hand flew across the page of my journal as I scribbled down the jewels of wisdom he shared. Then he said these words, and my writing stopped.

“The Holy Spirit speaks in a voice of love. Our flesh speaks in a voice of fear.”

I hesitated to write it down. When I looked across the aisle at a friend who had also been taking notes, I saw her hand stop too. Perhaps it was a coincidence, but I couldn’t help wondering if she was having the same thought as me.

Can that statement be true? Does the Holy Spirit always speak out of love?

I wrote down the quote and decided to reflect on it later.

And I did. I’ve thought about it since and concluded the pastor was absolutely right.

Thinking Biblically About Love

My hesitation in believing that the Holy Spirit always speaks in a voice of love was rooted in misconceptions about love.

  • Sometimes the Holy Spirit nudges me to do things I don’t want to do. That doesn’t feel loving.
  • When I’ve either done something wrong or am tempted to, the Holy Spirit rings alarm bells. That voice doesn’t feel loving either.
  • The Holy Spirit seems to always be about the business of pruning and changing me. It can get uncomfortable and certainly doesn’t always feel like love.

Everywhere I look, I receive messages about what love is. I’ve been told that love looks like acceptance, tolerance, and approval, but what I know about the Holy Spirit is that he convicts, sanctifies, and teaches (among other activities).

One of these two ideas is true. Either:

  1. The Holy Spirit does not always speak in a voice of love, or
  2. Our cultural definition of love is inaccurate

When I examined the roles of the Holy Spirit in the Christian’s life, I found each of his activities to be rooted in love.

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Scripture first

When we have a thought or impression, the first step in discerning whether it is the voice of God is to test it against the Bible. The Spirit’s direction will never contradict what God has already spoken through Scripture.

In many situations, we can do that because God’s Word is practical and applicable.

Sometimes, though, we find ourselves wondering about a topic that the Bible does not directly address.

Maybe you’re trying to make a decision about the future. Perhaps you’re feeling led to make a big change in your life. It could be thoughts about your value, your memories, or something unique to you and your situation.

When we consult Scripture and still have trouble discerning whether we’re hearing from the Holy Spirit, test it with this question: Is the voice speaking from a place of love or fear?

Work of the Holy Spirit

To know whether we’re hearing from the Holy Spirit, it’s helpful to understand his role and work.

The work of the Holy Spirit is to manifest the active presence of God in the world, and especially in the church.

Systematic Theology, page 634 (emphasis mine)

This is the most loving work imaginable. God is the source of all life and goodness. The Holy Spirit allows us to experience and interact with the presence of God who is the very definition of love.

Looking at the various activities of the Holy Spirit, we can see that in every instance, he is speaking to us in a voice of love.

The Holy Spirit:

  • sanctifies us
  • guides us
  • teaches us
  • unites us
  • confirms God’s presence in our lives

The voice that sanctifies

Sanctification is the process of making us more Christ-like. The Holy Spirit works to grow us in personal holiness as we follow Jesus.

Becoming like Christ means growing in the characteristics of God which the Bible calls the “fruit of the Spirit.”

…the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.

Galatians 5:22-23, ESV

Is it loving that the Holy Spirit would grow us in these ways? Absolutely! However, the process of becoming fruitful isn’t always comfortable.

The book of John tells us that “every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit” (John 15:2).

So while the transformation from sinful self to more Christ-likeness doesn’t always feel great, we can trust that as the Holy Spirit does so, he is motivated by love for us.

The voice that confirms God’s presence

When Jesus left this world to return to his Father, he sent us a helper, the Holy Spirit. Having been a Christian since a very young age, I admit I can take this fact for granted.

The Spirit of God, who once dwelled within Israel’s tabernacle and temple, now dwells in us.

God speaks to us in different ways. He speaks through Scripture, but he may also speak to you through an interrupting thought, an impression, a sense of peace, or another person’s words or actions.

Each time the Holy Spirit speaks to us, we are reminded of the amazing news that God is near. Through Jesus’s death and resurrection, we have salvation from sin, and we also gain direct access to God’s presence. What greater love is there?

Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.

John 15:13, ESV

The voice that guides

The Holy Spirit will guide us. He guides us as a good father would guide his children. He does so gently but persistently.

When I was a teenager, I dated a guy who was also one of my best friends. During those years, God was drawing me to himself, but my boyfriend was not on the same path.

In multiple ways and at different times, the Holy Spirit urged me to end the relationship. I knew it was the right thing to do, but it was still incredibly difficult to sever those ties.

Looking back at that experience, I can see the Holy Spirit was acting in a very loving way. The relationship distracted me from my walk with Jesus.

Sometimes God takes away something important to us because he loves us and wants to refocus our attention on Him. Nothing satisfies our souls like Jesus.

However, at the time, I wanted the Holy Spirit to leave me alone! I didn’t understand why he would ask me to walk away from someone I cared about.

Listening to the voice of God means sometimes hearing something we don’t want to hear.

Following the guidance of the Holy Spirit may at times be accompanied by pain, loss, and grief. But we know Jesus can sympathize with us in all these ways. He sees our difficulties and cares deeply about them.

Paul shows us in Galatians that what we want (the desires of the flesh) is opposed to what God wants (the desires of the Spirit). He doesn’t ask us to deny our flesh because he’s mean but because he loves us and desires our ultimate good.

The voice that teaches

One of the roles of the Holy Spirit is to teach and increase our understanding of God and his Word.

God created us with curiosity and intellect. It’s right and good that we would have questions for God and about God.

As loving a loving father, he doesn’t leave us in the dark. He doesn’t hide his character from us but instead reveals himself through Scripture and the work of the Holy Spirit in our world.

Speaking of the Holy Spirit, Jesus tells us that he “will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you” (John 14:26).

When one of my children comes to me with a question, I don’t turn him or her away with “because I said so!” (Okay, well not too often, anyway!) I want my children to have understanding and grow in knowledge.

God, in his loving mercy, desires that we know him more and more.

The voice that unites

The Holy Spirit unites all believers by giving us like-minded desires to follow Jesus, to love God, and to love people.

The voice of the Holy Spirit will not promote division in his people. This doesn’t mean we’ll always like each other and be best friends forever. But our brothers and sisters in Christ are members of the same body. God works through his people and often demonstrates his love to us through other Christians.

Belonging to the church isn’t always easy. We’re all sinners, after all! But God knows we need one another, and so he lovingly connects all of us in our purpose and calling to belong to Jesus and make him known.

Discerning the voices

In all these ways, the Holy Spirit speaks with a voice of love. The more we know God, the more readily we will be able to identify his voice. When we ask whether the voice we’re hearing is rooted in love, we can more easily detect and filter out the voices that speak out of fear.

In my life, I’ve found this idea incredibly helpful. Knowing thoughts that originate from my sinful self (or worse, ideas from satan) speak out of fear, I am quicker to reject them outright.

If I’m tempted to believe a lie about myself or feel defined by my mistakes, I examine my thoughts with the question, “Is this coming from a voice of fear or biblical love?”

When I’m making a decision, I surrender what I want and ask God to reveal what he desires. I can trust him when he answers, even if it’s not the answer I want because I know he loves me so completely.

I would love to hear from you in the comments. What has been your experience in discerning the voice of God?


You may also like these articles about thoughts and decision-making:


*Feature image by Ben White on Unsplash

5 Comments

  • Gordon

    I hate how churches are always redefining love (using exaggerated parodies to try and prove their point) so as to excuse their vitriol and delight in placing yokes upon others.
    “Love is rigorous, love is tough. It seizes everything, it stands proud, it cuts like a sword. It does not care for happiness, but only for holiness, it is not slow to give correction; it never spares the rod, even if the rod does not give correction. Love does not delight people but stands firm in sound doctrine. It always tests, always finds fault, always scrutinizes, always hurts.”

    • Lisa

      Hi Gordon. It saddens me that this has been your experience with the church. Love can only be defined by God because God is love (1 John 4:8). We’re all marked by the brokenness of sin which means even followers of Jesus will unfortunately be conduits of pain sometimes. I hope that your experiences don’t keep you from pursuing your relationship with Jesus and finding a body of believers who do their best to embody God’s love.

  • Brenda

    Such a great message.

    I have more of a question. When you are faced with a decision of two good things, let’s say, two institution or courses to pick from and you pray to the Holyspirit. How do you know when He answers and which one He picks for you?

    • Lisa

      That’s a great question, Brenda. I would first consider how is it that God has spoken to me in the past. He can work through other people, our thoughts, desires, and the presentation of opportunities. When I ask God for wisdom and discernment, He tends to put a thought in my head, one that seems persistent. I try to test it as best I can by holding it up against Scripture and finding wise people in the body of Christ to give me perspective. Pray for wisdom, and also praise God that He has give you two (or many) great options to choose from! A great resource on this subject is a book titled Decision Making and the Will of God by Garry Friesen and Robin Maxson. This short post may also prove helpful to you as well: https://lisazdean.com/permissible-or-beneficial-thoughts-on-biblical-decision-making/

  • Brenda

    Thank you so much for the clarification. It’s so clear and succinct. Thank you too for the recommendation too, I will check the book out.
    I am deeply grateful.

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