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josh and lisa dean holding hands
Relationships

Better Than a Salami Sandwich

chart showing the clingy levels of Dean spouses

 

Dear Husband sent this graph to me yesterday at work. To make sense of it, you would need to know that he calls me Bee, and I call him Beebs. He claims that he is “clingy-er” than I am, which you should read as “more affectionate”. I of course protest and attempt to bring evidence against such a claim. Here it is though, data to prove it. I laughed out loud in my empty office when I saw it.

What I love about this is that he sent it knowing he would make me smile. He does a lot of things like that, just to make me happy. Before I was married, and still now, I think about what makes a good husband or a good wife. I look to the Bible to find that definition.

Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. -Ephesians 5:22-23

I read those words and I clearly see my Dear Husband’s obedience to Christ. How? Because he is driven by a motivation to seek my well-being, to push me to Jesus, and to place me above all things in his life, save for God. He will forgo comfort and triumph in an argument for the sake of communication and harmony with me.

When I was single, I listened attentively to Paul’s words when he said it is better not to marry (1 Corinthians 7:8-10), and I still would advocate that single people strongly consider this before assuming that the marriage covenant is truly something they should enter. I say that as a precursor to what I say next – that I am hugely blessed by my marriage because I do see a clearer picture of Jesus in my life. I have an example of Christ before me each day in the form of a husband that will forgive me my faults without limit, will bear my burdens, and will love me, encourage me, and stand with me in all things.

Because of this, he makes my job as a wife that much easier. I look to him as head of our family of two, and I know I can trust his judgments, decisions, and motivations. When I married, I put my faith in God that He would lead and guide me through my husband. I can’t pretend that all this is easy or comes naturally, and I would also be wrong to say that we can maintain a healthy marriage by sheer will. We daily depend on Jesus for grace and wisdom to be the husband and wife He has called us to be.

I share this because I want to recognize the lengths to which Dear Husband goes to take care of me, and I hope it gives encouragement to anyone struggling with the roles of husband and wife. Dear Husband once told me that being married is like holding hands for a little while on earth until we’re called to our heavenly home. And let me tell you, I’d much rather be holding hands with Dear Husband than with a salami sandwich.

 

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