Dealing With the Real Question Behind “What is My Identity in Christ?”

There is no lack of articles that address the idea of what it means to find our identity in Christ. Compilations of Bible verses lay out a stunning display of God’s thoughts about his children. (And if you’re not familiar, here is one example.) 

These ideas about our identity in Christ derived from Scripture are absolutely true.

But here I’m going to admit a very embarrassing secret to you. My suspicion is that many of us struggle with the same issue but don’t want to talk about it.

Here’s what used to happen to me. I would read the list of statements about who God says I am, and it would look something like this: I am loved, I am forgiven, I am accepted, I am adopted. Then I would think, “Yes, okay, I get it, but that’s for every Christian. All of them. But what about me, specifically?” 

Can anyone else raise their hand and admit to having the same thought? 

Those identity statements weren’t scratching the itch because my question about identity was something altogether different. What I was really asking was, “What makes me a unique snowflake unicorn?” If God views all of his children throughout history in a similar way, that must mean I’m not very special. His love for me must not be very personal. It doesn’t boost my ego the way I want.

Ick, I know. But we have to move through the ick to get to the beauty.

Shifting the Focus

To make sense of our identity, we have to stop looking at ourselves.

One of the beautiful, wondrous, and mysterious parts of being a child of God is we see ourselves more clearly when we take the focus off ourselves and shift it onto God.

Right now I am reading Women of the Word by Jen Wilkin. On a scale of one to five starts, I’d probably give it fifteen. She sets the tone of the book by introducing the reader to the idea that to truly understand ourselves, we have to zoom out and look at our lives in the context of who God is.

The Bible is a book about God….I read the Bible asking, “Who am I?” and “What should I do?” And the Bible did answer these questions in places….But the questions I was asking revealed that I held a subtle misunderstanding about the very nature of the Bible: I believed that the Bible was a book about me….The Bible does tell us who we are and what we should do, but it does so through the lens of who God is. The knowledge of God and the knowledge of self always go hand in hand.

Jen Wilkin, Women of the Word

First we need to zoom out, looking away from ourselves, and begin to seek God by pursuing his characteristics in the Bible (spoiler: he is not like us humans). Then, we can zoom back in to see our lives and identities beginning to make sense in the context of God’s story. 

God is Not Like Us

We (or at least I) have a bad habit of thinking about God as though he were limited by human qualities.

Here is one example of how knowing God’s character influences how I see myself.

When I consider the fact that God loves and cares for billions of people, my brain can’t help but do the math and decide that a whole lot of love divided by a billion isn’t a whole lot of love. But then I have to stop and remember God isn’t like you or me. I have a hard time loving twenty people well, let alone a billion. My equation leaves out the fact that God’s love isn’t just big; it’s infinite. An infinite amount of love divided by a billion people or a trillion people or any large number is…an infinite amount of love. (You can check my math.)

This fact gives me confidence that God has the capacity to love me personally, and I a represent more to him than a faceless person in a sea of humans.

Part of a Whole

Going back to the “unique snowflake unicorn” part of this problem, I know that Americans are positioned to uniquely (ha!) struggle with this. We’ve soaked in the ideas culture presents to us about value coming from individuality and shining brighter than others.

While it’s true none of us are exactly like another, the Bible teaches that instead of standing alone to find purpose and identity, we were designed to find it in a community of believers.

By the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned. For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another. Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them.

Romans 12:3-6

Jon Bloom puts it this way: “That’s why, when trying to discern God’s will for our lives, we get confused if we look at ourselves in isolation. Just like a body part separated from the body looks strange, so do we out of the context of the church.”

Finding Self When We Forget Self

Many, myself included, have gone to the Bible trying to understand how to feel better about themselves. I’ve approached the Bible looking for lessons about concepts like self-esteem, confidence, and value.

I read Timothy Keller’s book, the Freedom of Self Forgetfulness seven years ago, and it remains one of the most impactful books I’ve ever read.

The concepts he presented freed me from my ever-present striving to feel better about myself. He says, “The essence of gospel-humility is not thinking more of myself or thinking less of myself, it is thinking of myself less.” Putting my focus on God, I find release from the entanglements of “me, me, me” thoughts.

I want to include one more quote that makes my heart sing and sets to right the true questions behind the topic of identity in Christ.

Awe yields self-forgetfulness. When we emphasize self-awareness to the omission of self-forgetfulness, we have missed the mark. You can tell me that I am a royal daughter of the King. You can assure me that I am God’s poem or his masterpiece. You can tell me that I stir the heart of God, that I am sung over and delighted in, that I am beautiful in his eyes, that I am set apart for a sacred purpose. You can tell me these things, and you should. But I beg you: Don’t tell me who I am until you have caused me to gaze in awe at “I Am.” Though all of these statements are precious truths, their preciousness cannot be properly perceived until framed in the brilliance of his utter holiness. There can be no true self-awareness apart from right, reverent awe of God.

Jen Wilkin, “Women, Trade Self-Worth for Awe and Wonder” [emphasis, mine]

A Prayer to End

Father God,

Thank you for giving us guidance on how to live as part of your church and kingdom. Thank you that your Word gives us identity statements that we can cling to like treasure. Help us believe we are valuable because you value us. Help us remember we are lovely because you love us. But more than that, help us lift our gazes off ourselves and focus on you, the one who is supremely glorious and holy. There in self-forgetfulness may we find our freedom and contentment. Cause us to behold your character and serve as mirrors reflecting you to the world. Grant us a spirit of awe and wonder in your presence and thereby find ourselves stepping into the fullness of who you created us to be.

In Jesus’s sweet name,

Amen.